8.58am. I have been on the train from Birmingham to Bradford for almost an hour. I eat my almond croissant with my skinny latte whilst talking to a medic her way back to University training to be a cardiologist, matters of the heart. Diagonally across from me sit an Asian couple, head to head sharing a pair of earphones watching a video. I close my eyes and listen to Ek Onkar by Harshdeep Kaur and suddenly everything looks and feels just the way it should; I feel peace. I have that feeling in my chest, a warm glow, a deepening feeling like a well growing inside me, widening and overflowing with love and abundance. Branches appearing with flowers and plants blooming and bursting with life, from the tip of my head to my toes.
This year has rushed by in a flash. It began on a train in India with 500 young Indians when I participated in Jagriti Yatra, one of the most exciting journeys of my life. The next few months moving around the country proved to fill me with more self-enquiry and development. 2015 has definitely been a year of shifts in my perspective and inner growth as my spirituality is coming to the fore, for many of us. I can’t even begin to describe the India effect on me. It’s a need, not just a want. There I feel connected with my past and the future. The ground feels so right beneath my feet. I’m truly at home. I’ve visited many places in this world and fell in love with them, but being in the place where my parents entered the world and learned values, strength and courage that they passed onto me is fundamental to my well-being.
Suddenly I feel a rush and realise what may have lead me to start writing this post. This year I have been feeling more, not ignoring passing emotions and pain, but really letting them flow within me and recognizing the sensations, respecting them. My father passed away 9 years ago on this day. I’m wearing the same jumper I wore the last time I hugged him goodbye as he lay there still in the hospital. My daddy. My loving father was a man of few words, but every now and then I remember things he said to me that now make complete sense.
I’ve read many articles on self-development, planning ahead, thinking positive, influencing the future, being at one with the universe and being your best. To be frank I find some of these exhausting. We are always looking ahead, then looking behind at the past, maybe with a tear at some moments, at others with a smile. I want to smile now. I have hopes and dreams for the year ahead, but most of the magic happens when we don’t expect it, when we are not planning. I’m tired of thinking about what isn’t and prefer to celebrate what is each and every day. My mantra for 2016 is to love each day and continue being open to new people and experiences, just being kind to myself and the world around me the best I can. Good luck with the year ahead, may it be full of peace, love and light.